Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified neurosurgeon. I can break into people’s heads and rewire their brains and tamper with their memory, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.
Don’t pass out at parties
I wish spongebob would leave me alone so I could play my clarinet in peace
judge me on my recently added not my most played
- author: she didn't want to eat dinner because she doesn't like chicken noodle soup
- english teacher: even though it doesn't say it, we can infer that 17 years ago she encountered an attack from chickens while on a trip to africa visiting her great aunt who was dying from pneumonia which she got from chickens that were being harvested for the great feast
- tumblr: lol fukin stupid teacher
- loki: blinks
- tumblr: do you see this? do you see that blink? that fucking blink. it shows how much pain he has inside of him. look at him. all he wants is his father to love him. look at the tears that he is holding back. he's never been the favorite son, he always knew that he didn't belong. this is the fucking blink that makes me love loki. he's not a villain. he's just a scared, lonely child.
an important nature guide.
i hate it when possums stay on their cellphones. so rude.